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[willinglychanged]

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Thursday

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[willinglychanged]

my mom?

the only 'massive' thing my mom ever did was one of those stupid "who can grow the biggest pumpkin" competitions.

1/2

[glowsferatu]

okay not your mom
im not sure who you are actually
my communicator keeps ringing the wrong people i think it may be broken

[glowsferatu]

okay no that was rude
hi im kanaya and im having a weird day
sorry that its now been inflicted on you

[willinglychanged]

dude! the exact same thing has been happening to me and I keep telling the totally wrong people really inappropriate shit.
its killing me.

[glowsferatu]

i guess the major problem there is exactly what sort of inappropriate it is
i suppose im lucky enough that the most im being is stressed which wow surprise thats not a foregone conclusion already at all
maybe some of its a little personable but not terribly compromising beyond that
have you been doing worse

[willinglychanged]

the totally inappropriate kind? the kinda thing you REALLY don't wanna go texting strangers with.
So much worse.
In fact, yours sounds kinda pleasant instead.

[glowsferatu]

this is why one should never depend on electronic means to share whatever lower edifice you hope will get a rise out of the receiving party
such things always have a tendency to go dreadfully wrong
even if no one deliberately hacks your information

[willinglychanged]

Usually I don't. I mean, I'm pretty good with doing it in real life. He just wasn't exactly here right now.
I'm sure I'll survive, just gotta avoid some straight guys I mighta just messed with.

[glowsferatu]

well straight guys are something of an odd phenomenon anyway
best avoided as a general rule
if you can take the accompanying wink and nudge gesture to denote the mocking nature of the comment as implied
at least you run a very high likelihood that the misdirected images will probably be deleted

[willinglychanged]

hah. they sure are.
I'm hoping they'll be kept forever as some kinda 'if I ever wanted to do it with a guy. it'd be this guy' kinda thing.

[glowsferatu]

i think thats probably just wishful thinking
though i cant say i particularly understand the concept of "hypothetical exceptions" either
even most women i meet are rarely rated along some scale of attraction
going out of my way to consider where men might fall just sounds like a waste of time

and yet ive had men express surprise about that
is this a thing people actually do
maybe its only straight people that do it or maybe ive been left entirely behind on this trend

[willinglychanged]

Wishful thinking is the only kind of thinking I'm good at.
It probably is. A waste of time that is.

I can kinda see when people are hot, men or women... but I only really get going for dudes.
Not sure if I can help you there.

[glowsferatu]

i can recognize aesthetic appeal certainly
id be rather shit at my job if i couldnt
but attraction i think is something wholly other

more for you i suppose

[willinglychanged]

Must be a wolf thing. Attraction is pretty easy to come by. Hell I create a lot of it after all- all kinda animal attraction.

[glowsferatu]

are you a wolf then
i would have thought that having paws would make typing much more difficult than you make it seem
its deserving of commendation

[willinglychanged]

werewolf.
still got hands, man.

[glowsferatu]

apologies
my mistake

but what youre telling me right now
is that we are collectively a gay werewolf and a lesbian vampire
that rivalry would be so cliched i think we should be embarrassed not to forgo it entirely

i dont think ive properly introduced myself
kanaya maryam

[willinglychanged]

wait, what?
Come on I happen to like lesbians- I mean, more dick for me, right?

Besides, back home wolves and vampire get along just fine. All that old hatred died down when we realized we kinda needed each other to survive.

And I'm Andrew Warner.

[glowsferatu]

precisely why i think a rivalry wouldnt be worth the bother!
no one wants to be a cliche anyway

i think you may be the first proper werewolf ive yet encountered actually
the closest i can recall was more a wolf who sometimes pretended to be a boy

[ She misses Toboe a bit, he was adorable. ]

[willinglychanged]

Good. I'm glad. I don't even have the energy for rivalries. We'll leave em for the straight guys. They love rivalries.

Really? Seems like I'm the first real werewolf anyone round here has seen.
Really?? That's uh, kinda weird. I'm a real boy. No pretending here.

[glowsferatu]

really really
suppose it makes you something of a novelty
the novelty of which for you im sure will expire before too long
time does have that tendency

[willinglychanged]

Hell it expired the first day I got here.
Probably around the same time I explained I'm not some crazy murderer who's gonna pillage the farms.

[glowsferatu]

at least youve yet to be accused of gathering an army to overthrow humanity
and the fetishists!!
are there such things as werewolf fetishists

[willinglychanged]

They don't think I'm smart enough for one of those. Total savage wolf, remember?
There are! They're like 'SMELL MY JUNK, YOU LIKE THAT SHIT RIGHT? GROW MORE HAIR. PRETEND TO BITE ME WHILE I RUN AROUND WITH A PICNIC BASKET'

[glowsferatu]

oh my god
i suppose it isnt as bad as hoping you will let them lead you around town on a leash or drink from a bowl
but now i wonder if maybe i dont have it so bad
the biting isnt pretend thats for certain