willinglychanged | ☾ MoM Contact

[He hadn't anticipated the message, not after everything. But he could feel his own feelings and then feel Toby's. It was strange, difficult to handle, but it is what it is. Usually Drew's pack bond was a source of comfort, of happiness- this one, however, served a lot of anxiety.]

I ain't making any promises.
It sure has been a while, an I can feel what you're saying.
Its gonna be confusing.
Its gonna be hard.
Better still, there's a lot of people goin for my head right now because of this. Not sure how they'd feel about us being in the same place.
But we can try.

Perhaps I should make a public post on the network and tell them to leave you be.
Do you think they'd listen to me? I don't think Dorian will.
We were both hurt and angry when it happened. [And Dorian made Toby feel all better for a brief time. Extreme elation, that.]
But I understand what you were trying to get at now.
Let's work this out, Drew.
Besides, there's something else I really have to warn you about.

[And that would be the return of Yuri Petrov, or Lunatic.]

like hell you should do that. they'd just think i was tryina chew your throat out again. [With a particular sour pang of bitterness rising up on that one.]

I don't think its a good idea to go appealing to the better nature of other pople.
Not til we figure out whether or not this is gonna work at least.
Cause I mean... sometimes the bond its more of a curse than a blessing. We might not find a way to make that shit work.

Oh yeah? Lemme guess. Lawyer dude? Tryina send me to jail?

It was only an idea that I thought was worth asking about.
But I won't do it since you don't think it's a good idea.

I just want to learn how to live with having a connection with you.
And I don't expect it to be easy. Especially if it's a curse.
Maybe it won't work out, but I'd rather try than keep wondering.

Edgeworth is another story; don't worry about him.
There's someone more dangerous who probably is on to both of us.

Its a terrible idea man.
Clearly you've never done damage control.

Learning to live is easy.
You just ignore everything and keep going.
Learning how to be happy with it? Now that's gonna be our problem.

Hah. Dangerous? Dude no-one here exactly strikes me as 'dangerous'.

[He'd already said that he wouldn't let a jail hold him after all.]

Not of this sort, no.
Damage control seemed so much easier back at home. [Because he could easily get away with killing people.]
Though I'm told that method is unacceptable here.
I've never really had to consider other options until now.

Is it some sort of balancing act, only with emotions?
Because if so, I finally understand why it's such a problem.

That's the thing, Drew.
No one else knew he was dangerous until it was too late.
I can't help being worried. I'd rather speak to you about this in person.
Please.

Apparently there ain't nothing easy about being in this place.
And I ain't ever had to damage control this way either, you're the first guy I ever killed.
Which kinda sucks, for both of us, believe me.

It is. There's always gonna be a pull in one direction, a push in another.
Hell Toby even now you don't realize you still got it kinda easy. You're only gonna have to worry about MY emotions mixing with yours. Now I've got me, you and the wolf in my head.

Yeah well i have an advantage. There's only 1 thing in here that can hurt me. Well, 2, but the real bad one happens to be owned by another guy I'm fucking.

But if you think we gotta meet then I guess we should bite that bullet. Test this twisted bond face to face.

[Toby shouldn't really be surprised that Drew's fucking anyone else. He'd been with Abduxel, he does his rounds with other supernaturals, other men. So why does this come as a surprise? Besides, Toby's with Dorian; he'd made that clear when—no, he's not going to get caught in this trap.]

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
Hayley also gave me some advice.
I hadn't known her until just recently.
What you'd said that wasn't supposed to happen to me—you meant being a hybrid, didn't you?

I see. I'd hope he wouldn't be able to discover your weaknesses, then.
But then again, I'm not entirely sure what he's capable of.
I can explain later, when I go to Heropa.
We can meet in the park, at the top of the promenade.
The place where we once lay under the full moon.

[God Toby he was talking about Abduxel! Abduxel owns the wolfsbane land. He's not that big of a hoe.]

dude you're not a fucking hybrid you prick.
Hybrids are impossible, illegal and also kinda fucked up.
You're just a vampire with a shitty pack bond that probably won't even work the way it should. ain't like i'm about to turn into some kinda alpha out here.
You're talking to Hayley now too, damn man... tryina fit it with the weres?

He won't. And if he does, well. I'll have to deal with it.
Oh great. take us to a place that reminds us of good times, dude. Like that ain't gonna make this shit twice as difficult.
10/10. Great decision.

[Okay so Drew might've nervously started smoking the moment he realized they were going to have to meet up.]

[Okay, okay! God, how is he supposed to know, with all his talk the first time they had met? No, but he didn't mean to think of Drew badly; rather, it's partially a testament to Drew's charm, and the fact Toby thinks Drew could easily have anyone if he wanted.

Either way, Toby tries not to feel frustrated at Drew's response because it reads as if Toby should know better or does everything wrong. Dammit, he's trying so hard to fix everything that's been broken.]

Well, excuse me for asking.
It's not as if I know these things instinctively.
I'm not trying to encroach or fit in or anything.
I just want to understand and have friends and not be alone.
Without siring anyone, thanks.

Look, I didn't know where to pick.
If it'll help, then you pick a place.

[If its any consolation, Drew only reacted that way because hybrids back home are basically failed genetic experiments and considered awful.]

Look I get it you don't know this shit.
Just don't call yourself a hybrid. Its practically an insult.
Yeah well try not to make any MORE vampires while you're at it, cause uh, I'm not sure what that'd do the bond.

There's a bar. Its 2 blocks from my house. Called something like 'The Creaky Stool' or some shit.
Go there.

Even if I wanted to (and I assure you, I DON'T), I haven't been capable of siring for some time now.
Someone used some sort of magic binding to prevent it from happening. At least, with the natives.
She also made it that I can't feed on imPorts without clear and informed consent.

All right. I'll be there.

[When he gets the chance, Toby finally sucks it up and heads to The Creaky Stool or whatever its actual name, in Heropa. He tries to swallow the nerves, but after what's happened, it's difficult to act like this is a completely normal meeting. Besides, he isn't the only one who's nervous about all this.]

thank whatever kinda deity is out there that happened. cause I wouldn't be happy if I suddenly had a pack full of vampires.

I'll see you soon.

[He takes a while to actually drag himself out of his house, mostly because there was so much anxiety and nervousness rubberbanding along the bond that he barely wanted to leave it at all. It took him a while to drag himself there but he finally winds up at the Creaky Stool, shouldering his way into the bar with a hood pulled up over his head.

So maybe he was trying to be incognito considering people out there might be gunning for his head. He doesn't even need to look at Toby to find his seat, he felt it the moment he crossed the threshold into the bar and all of those emotions got stronger.]

[Toby swallows when Drew shows, but all the same he's also relieved to see the werewolf despite everything. It's hard to make small talk when he already knows Drew's feelings—how and why he'd taken his time, his apprehension, the reasons he'd much rather avoid Toby... It leaves little in the way of opening conversation.]

Thank you, Drew. For meeting with me. [That seems the right thing to do, since Toby had suggested this in the first place.] Fancy a drink? It's on me.

[He moves quickly and sits down before he manages to draw attention to himself before pulling down his hood, running a hand through his hair. It felt like a gust of wind had blown through him now that he was sitting here face to face with Toby. Part of him wanted to take comfort in the fact that the pack bond was there but he knew that he couldn't, not yet. It made him almost angry, considering his pack bond at home was such a beautiful thing; this twisted incarnation should never have happened.]

No problem, man. [Even though it was kind of a problem.] And uh, sure. Hold the wolfsbane though, don't wanna go killin' you again. [Which should probably win the award for being the shittiest joke ever.]

Right... Will do that, sure. [The joke was indeed awful and seemed to match the remnant undercurrent of slight anger that Toby can't seem to place. It's as if there's something wrong with him, like he's broken or defective... or disgusting. Since Drew had been the first kindred spirit Toby's ever had on the supernatural front, he really doesn't want the werewolf to feel that way about him.

Shoving away the slight pang of hurt the joke had elicited, Toby orders them a couple of whiskeys. After a moment of relatively awkward silence, he finally decides to speak.]

About what I'd mentioned earlier, a serial killer once known as Lunatic has recently been ported back into this world. He used to burn his victims to death as payment for being sinners, where the sin in question is killing, regardless of the reason or what world it took place in. I don't know much about his power other than the fact it involves fire, but I thought to mention because your network post tells it straight that you're a killer.

[He might as well get that out of the way, but there's obviously more to the story than just this.]

Uh, sorry. [He can taste the slight pang of hurt in his mouth, like he'd just bitten into a lemon. It hurts him too, because he knew that he caused it. Realistically, he didn't want to be causing Toby any pain in this way, he'd done enough of that already by killing the man.]

A serial killer? [Because wow out of all the things Toby could've told him today a serial killer would've been the last one Drew would've anticipated.] So you're sayin' that 'cause I killed you some guy's gonna try turn me into barbecue drew? 'Cause uh, he'll be pretty screwed when my skin starts stitching itself together from the moment he lights the match. [He sighs.] Not that I wanna have t'kill anyone else... and uh, y'think he's gonna target me then?

Like I said, I'd heard he goes after those who have killed, no matter the reason. Even if you hadn't planned it and don't intend to go after anyone else, he might still come for you. [And sure, even if Toby had been terrified when Drew had hunted and killed him, he still fears for Drew's life.]

His name is Yuri Petrov. He's killed Dorian once before...

[This is a big deal to Toby for a number of reasons. For one, Dorian is immortal, and Yuri had found his weakness, the portrait, and destroyed it. Another is that Yuri and Dorian had been together before, and that's something Toby finds difficult to think about or even bear. But perhaps most terrifying of all for Toby is that he's a vampire, a creature that almost naturally takes from and kills others. And he's met Yuri in person, has already faced his subtle warnings. What if Yuri finds Drew's post and finds out exactly what he is? Perhaps he'll soon be facing another death.]

At any rate, I don't see any reason to worry about Edgeworth anymore.

[Drew lets out one hell of a long sigh.] Great, so I fuck up one time an' I'm gonna have to watch my back for some kinda serial killer. [He tilts his head to the side.] So uh... if I end up killin' him too do I end up an even worse person or is it some kinda redeemable 'cause he's an asshole? [Not that he intended on killing anyone else... after all he still wanted to hold onto his pacifism even now.]

An' uh, I wasn't exactly worried about the lawyer to begin with but uh, y'might needa be kinda worried 'bout him now too. We shared some kinda harsh words. Mighta dropped you in the shit a little, dude.

[Toby also sighs, unsure what to make of Drew's question. Though he is somewhat relieved that Drew would much rather remain a pacifist, especially after the experience of being hunted.]

I haven't the faintest idea; I don't know how redemption works, really. [Since arriving, Toby has fucked up more times than he could count.

Sounding as resigned as he feels,] Yeah, I suppose I might have it in for me anyway. He asked me if I'd wanted justice for what you did, and I guess I was angry enough at the both of us to say yes. After that, he asked me a lot of questions—at first, about what transpired between you and me. Then, he asked more about me, and hasn't spoken to me since...

[Should Edgeworth go for either of them, something tells Toby that it won't be Drew.

If it comes down to that, Toby will just turn himself in. He's been fucking things up from the very first day he'd arrived, and now he's just tired of struggling for redemption. Kanaya is wholly unconvinced of his efforts to change. Laurie and Sasha had kicked him out, and Toby figured the only reason Sasha had contacted him since then is to see whether he's still considered a threat. Edgeworth's probably spooked now. There's no way Drew's post could possibly have helped his cause.

And then, of course, Yuri Petrov. Toby has no idea how that man actually operates, only that he's a serial killer who may soon target them.]

Maybe he's simply abandoned the idea, and that's for the better, isn't it?

Edited (missed a line, whoops) 2015-11-23 03:23 (UTC)

Yeah... somethin' told me you'd be just as lost in all of this as I am. [Because really he couldn't exactly speak to Toby of all people about the ethical nature of their situation. Toby had done awful shit a lot more often than Drew himself had.

If the Werewolf wanted to feel better about himself he could use this line of thought, that Toby had killed before of his own volition, that he wasn't really alive to begin with for his murder to be considered such an impure act. But he had to push those thoughts away, too, because he didn't want to make himself feel better in such a deplorable way. He wasn't wired that way at the end of the day, supernatural unity was his thing. He shudders and takes a sip of his drink, trying to push through it.]

Yeah he was full of questions for me too an' a lotta talk of retribution, punishment, the kinda crap that gets your hackles up real quick. Guess it doesn't help that we're tryin'a come to terms with this bond while swimmin' through this shit storm. [Because that's what it'd been since day one and that's what created the shittiness in their bond. Maybe if it'd been formed under more normal circumstances it wouldn't be so awful, it would've been easier to come to terms with it.]

We can kinda keep hopin' for that. But somethin' tells me from our conversation he's the kind to not just let it slide too easy.

Edited (hit enter too early oops) 2015-11-23 22:44 (UTC)

[There's a lingering gross taste in Toby's mouth, something like old and rotted dry blood, before Drew pushes away whatever ugly thoughts he has. Toby glances at his glass and suddenly doesn't feel up for drinks anymore.]

You're right. [Maybe he should try talking with Edgeworth again. Toby had been there for him in the past, had been able to pacify him. Perhaps he can do so again...] He'll probably pursue it, but still. There's no real reason for concern anymore.

[It's Toby's problem from now on. He's decided that all of this is. Not that he's any good at it, but he might as well take responsibility. At least, one of them should step up to it.

Again, another awkward silence. Maybe they should get the obvious out of the way.]

Tell me, Drew. You really don't like this bond with me, do you?

[He knows Drew hadn't meant for it to happen, and he thinks Drew is probably totally ashamed of being bonded with him. And he supposes that's all right, even if he can't bring himself to dislike Drew. Still, if he's going to deal with that undercurrent of disgust or anger, he'd rather be out with it, even if acknowledging it might be painful.]

[He just scratches his chin, thinking about it. He was familiar enough with pack bonds himself that they didn't effect him in the same way they effected Toby. After all a little pack rivalry could bring out those negative emotions.

He downs his drink rather quickly though, if only because he was kind of parched.] Wasn't exactly concerned to begin with, Toby, not gonna lie but if someone wants to either kill me or throw me in jail because of this then I guess I'd just have to face them consequences.

[He didn't expect the question, didn't expect it to come so bluntly. After all he thought they'd dance around the issue for a while.]

Ain't that I don't like it Toby. It just ain't exactly normal or comfortable. Same kinda gig if we'd been locked in the same room after everythin' that happened. Ain't too pleasant for anyone.

[A cough.] Oh an' its a great reminder of the mistakes I've made. Ain't too cute neither.

[Personally, Toby doesn't want to win the competition for worse monster, but he's more the abomination. At the end of the day, he's killed more people—for survival, sure, but he came to enjoy it in his time. Before meeting Dorian, that is. Slowly and carefully, Toby nurses his drink despite not really feeling up to it. Maybe it'll rid his mouth of that lingering, unpleasant taste.

While he hadn't planned on approaching the topic of their bond so directly, he just felt tired enough for it not to matter whether they danced about the issue or not. To some extent, Toby just wanted out with it.]

So... What, is it something that might eventually heal over time? and distance? Again? [Because he felt more than enough time had passed; in fact, he'd even paid for the things between them with his life. As far as he's concerned, the insults and injuries he'd inflicted Drew hardly warranted that sort of payment.

He opens his mouth to make a comment about mistakes and cuteness, but then just as quickly snaps it shut. There's no point, and this isn't a contest. This isn't about who could feel worse about the things they'd done, or how they'd wronged each other or anyone else. That might only result in bringing each other down, which would fuel a cycle of feeling even more down, besides.]

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I hope I don't seem, um. Impatient.

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