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Uh, sorry. [He can taste the slight pang of hurt in his mouth, like he'd just bitten into a lemon. It hurts him too, because he knew that he caused it. Realistically, he didn't want to be causing Toby any pain in this way, he'd done enough of that already by killing the man.]

A serial killer? [Because wow out of all the things Toby could've told him today a serial killer would've been the last one Drew would've anticipated.] So you're sayin' that 'cause I killed you some guy's gonna try turn me into barbecue drew? 'Cause uh, he'll be pretty screwed when my skin starts stitching itself together from the moment he lights the match. [He sighs.] Not that I wanna have t'kill anyone else... and uh, y'think he's gonna target me then?

Like I said, I'd heard he goes after those who have killed, no matter the reason. Even if you hadn't planned it and don't intend to go after anyone else, he might still come for you. [And sure, even if Toby had been terrified when Drew had hunted and killed him, he still fears for Drew's life.]

His name is Yuri Petrov. He's killed Dorian once before...

[This is a big deal to Toby for a number of reasons. For one, Dorian is immortal, and Yuri had found his weakness, the portrait, and destroyed it. Another is that Yuri and Dorian had been together before, and that's something Toby finds difficult to think about or even bear. But perhaps most terrifying of all for Toby is that he's a vampire, a creature that almost naturally takes from and kills others. And he's met Yuri in person, has already faced his subtle warnings. What if Yuri finds Drew's post and finds out exactly what he is? Perhaps he'll soon be facing another death.]

At any rate, I don't see any reason to worry about Edgeworth anymore.

[Drew lets out one hell of a long sigh.] Great, so I fuck up one time an' I'm gonna have to watch my back for some kinda serial killer. [He tilts his head to the side.] So uh... if I end up killin' him too do I end up an even worse person or is it some kinda redeemable 'cause he's an asshole? [Not that he intended on killing anyone else... after all he still wanted to hold onto his pacifism even now.]

An' uh, I wasn't exactly worried about the lawyer to begin with but uh, y'might needa be kinda worried 'bout him now too. We shared some kinda harsh words. Mighta dropped you in the shit a little, dude.

[Toby also sighs, unsure what to make of Drew's question. Though he is somewhat relieved that Drew would much rather remain a pacifist, especially after the experience of being hunted.]

I haven't the faintest idea; I don't know how redemption works, really. [Since arriving, Toby has fucked up more times than he could count.

Sounding as resigned as he feels,] Yeah, I suppose I might have it in for me anyway. He asked me if I'd wanted justice for what you did, and I guess I was angry enough at the both of us to say yes. After that, he asked me a lot of questions—at first, about what transpired between you and me. Then, he asked more about me, and hasn't spoken to me since...

[Should Edgeworth go for either of them, something tells Toby that it won't be Drew.

If it comes down to that, Toby will just turn himself in. He's been fucking things up from the very first day he'd arrived, and now he's just tired of struggling for redemption. Kanaya is wholly unconvinced of his efforts to change. Laurie and Sasha had kicked him out, and Toby figured the only reason Sasha had contacted him since then is to see whether he's still considered a threat. Edgeworth's probably spooked now. There's no way Drew's post could possibly have helped his cause.

And then, of course, Yuri Petrov. Toby has no idea how that man actually operates, only that he's a serial killer who may soon target them.]

Maybe he's simply abandoned the idea, and that's for the better, isn't it?

Edited (missed a line, whoops) 2015-11-23 03:23 (UTC)

Yeah... somethin' told me you'd be just as lost in all of this as I am. [Because really he couldn't exactly speak to Toby of all people about the ethical nature of their situation. Toby had done awful shit a lot more often than Drew himself had.

If the Werewolf wanted to feel better about himself he could use this line of thought, that Toby had killed before of his own volition, that he wasn't really alive to begin with for his murder to be considered such an impure act. But he had to push those thoughts away, too, because he didn't want to make himself feel better in such a deplorable way. He wasn't wired that way at the end of the day, supernatural unity was his thing. He shudders and takes a sip of his drink, trying to push through it.]

Yeah he was full of questions for me too an' a lotta talk of retribution, punishment, the kinda crap that gets your hackles up real quick. Guess it doesn't help that we're tryin'a come to terms with this bond while swimmin' through this shit storm. [Because that's what it'd been since day one and that's what created the shittiness in their bond. Maybe if it'd been formed under more normal circumstances it wouldn't be so awful, it would've been easier to come to terms with it.]

We can kinda keep hopin' for that. But somethin' tells me from our conversation he's the kind to not just let it slide too easy.

Edited (hit enter too early oops) 2015-11-23 22:44 (UTC)

[There's a lingering gross taste in Toby's mouth, something like old and rotted dry blood, before Drew pushes away whatever ugly thoughts he has. Toby glances at his glass and suddenly doesn't feel up for drinks anymore.]

You're right. [Maybe he should try talking with Edgeworth again. Toby had been there for him in the past, had been able to pacify him. Perhaps he can do so again...] He'll probably pursue it, but still. There's no real reason for concern anymore.

[It's Toby's problem from now on. He's decided that all of this is. Not that he's any good at it, but he might as well take responsibility. At least, one of them should step up to it.

Again, another awkward silence. Maybe they should get the obvious out of the way.]

Tell me, Drew. You really don't like this bond with me, do you?

[He knows Drew hadn't meant for it to happen, and he thinks Drew is probably totally ashamed of being bonded with him. And he supposes that's all right, even if he can't bring himself to dislike Drew. Still, if he's going to deal with that undercurrent of disgust or anger, he'd rather be out with it, even if acknowledging it might be painful.]

[He just scratches his chin, thinking about it. He was familiar enough with pack bonds himself that they didn't effect him in the same way they effected Toby. After all a little pack rivalry could bring out those negative emotions.

He downs his drink rather quickly though, if only because he was kind of parched.] Wasn't exactly concerned to begin with, Toby, not gonna lie but if someone wants to either kill me or throw me in jail because of this then I guess I'd just have to face them consequences.

[He didn't expect the question, didn't expect it to come so bluntly. After all he thought they'd dance around the issue for a while.]

Ain't that I don't like it Toby. It just ain't exactly normal or comfortable. Same kinda gig if we'd been locked in the same room after everythin' that happened. Ain't too pleasant for anyone.

[A cough.] Oh an' its a great reminder of the mistakes I've made. Ain't too cute neither.

[Personally, Toby doesn't want to win the competition for worse monster, but he's more the abomination. At the end of the day, he's killed more people—for survival, sure, but he came to enjoy it in his time. Before meeting Dorian, that is. Slowly and carefully, Toby nurses his drink despite not really feeling up to it. Maybe it'll rid his mouth of that lingering, unpleasant taste.

While he hadn't planned on approaching the topic of their bond so directly, he just felt tired enough for it not to matter whether they danced about the issue or not. To some extent, Toby just wanted out with it.]

So... What, is it something that might eventually heal over time? and distance? Again? [Because he felt more than enough time had passed; in fact, he'd even paid for the things between them with his life. As far as he's concerned, the insults and injuries he'd inflicted Drew hardly warranted that sort of payment.

He opens his mouth to make a comment about mistakes and cuteness, but then just as quickly snaps it shut. There's no point, and this isn't a contest. This isn't about who could feel worse about the things they'd done, or how they'd wronged each other or anyone else. That might only result in bringing each other down, which would fuel a cycle of feeling even more down, besides.]

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I hope I don't seem, um. Impatient.

This ain't the kinda thing we can just close our eyes and ignore. Not with the bond an' everythin'... it'd just make one of us, or hell, both of us, pretty damn bitter by the end of it. [Another sigh.] The wolf won't wanna be along. Eventually it'll start makin' us want to be around each other, just for that comfort. Its gonna be one hell of a ride that way, never knowin' what's me, what's you, what's the wolf.... [Which usually worked better with an entire pack of werewolves. Because they balanced each other out. But he could understand Toby's impatience. He wanted to get back to some semblance of a normal life too. He didn't want all of this looming in the background all the time.] I get it, dude. Really, I do. This whole shitty thing would be a hell of a lot better if it was over.

I guess. [He answers with a frown. Though maybe Drew is right—perhaps it would be better if neither of them had to acclimatize at all. Whereas now, they both have to, and for quite the change, at that.]

What do you mean it'll make us want to be around each other?

[To Toby, that's a sort of strange side effect. But then again, he's been alone for most of his life; how long had it taken him to find Dorian and decide to be with him? And how long had he stayed with Dorian, for that matter? All that had happened took place in the course of a year, but before that, Toby was alone. He cannot fathom suddenly wanting or craving that company and comfort, not with Dorian around.]

[A big old sigh that seems to take a lot of the wind out of Drew's sails.]

Look that whole Lone Wolf thing? Total bullshit. Wolves don't like to be alone. Wolves want a pack. Its why wolves that don't have a pack either wind up depressed or dead. Now I'm not sure if it'll all be one stupid one-sided thing 'cause you ain't a real wolf. But somethin' tells me the bond ain't really gonna let us get away with just ignorin' each other.

[The explanation gets Toby to relax somewhat as he considers the idea.]

Well, I... don't know if this helps, really. But I've been overly concerned about your opinion of me. The idea you might never want anything to do with me again, it upsets me.

[The feelings are genuine, as he's had such a fondness for Drew ever since they'd met. But Toby knows he really hurt Drew when he left with only a text before returning himself to Dorian. Though, having to die because of that seems a bit much. Still, Toby wants to patch things up; he truly enjoys Drew's company in spite of what's happened.]

[A surprised expression.] It really shouldn't work that quick. I mean for the first little while it can kinda be easy to ignore that side of the bond. A lot of new werewolves don't always end up with the pack who turned 'em. They just end up needin' some kinda pack.

[Which is probably worse, because it meant that the feelings they were discussing really were genuine feelings. Drew knew everything had been irrational between them after everything was said and done. But he also knew that at a time he was rather fond of Toby himself. It was just very hard to line up the past and the present and come to some way of rational thinking.]

—What I mean is, I'd felt this way even before the full moon and the bond... [But Drew probably already knew that, didn't he? Well, somehow Toby still felt it merited clarification. Though he's a little afraid to ask, he decides to anyway:]

You don't suppose the bond would just exacerbate those feelings, do you? That it might help them along?

[Because he knows that what he has with Drew is a gigantic mess; it had been exactly that since the very start. There's a whirlwind of feelings inside him when it comes to Drew. A want and need for him. Caring and concern. A love that is different from his love for Dorian. A desire to be with him, and the knowledge that he can't be. The fear of rejection, the fear of Drew's rage and hatred. So many warring feelings that it's probably better not to focus on them at all because things are confusing enough without doing so.]

[He frowns.] But uh, I mean... shouldn't those feelings have gone away? I mean, I killed you Toby. Damn it ain't exactly the kinda thing you just shrug off and go back to likin' a guy after.

[Because he'd expected a lot more hate from Toby's end of the bond than he'd actually received. He'd expected an awful lot really but again Toby hadn't come through with that either. Especially with the fear. The fear was one thing he hadn't actually anticipated. Hatred and anger, sure, but fear no.]

...You're not the first who's killed me in this world, Drew. [His voice is quiet and patient. Not to say that Abduxel had done it on purpose, but his point stands. Toby had been bitter at first, because who doesn't feel a little bitter after being killed?]

I didn't hold it against him either, and I still don't. I was angry at first, of course, but. I don't know, I...

[He doesn't know why his feelings haven't changed, and can't explain it, really. Maybe he just didn't want to lose the kindred spirit he'd seen in Drew.]

So you're tryin'a tell me that it doesn't matter just 'cause someone else killed you before? An' this other guy? Did ya go straight back to bein' his friend after he killed you? [Because it seemed like the kind of thing Toby might do, which vaguely made Drew judge his character.]

No, he's harassed me time and again, and— [Toby tries to suppress the frustration he feels toward Abduxel, who has harassed him time and again but also confused him. Their relationship has always been something of an abusive one that Toby had promised he wouldn't show Dorian, if only because he didn't want to be like a whiny tattler. "Dorian, Abduxel is always so horrible to me." And besides, Drew himself got on well enough with the demon; Toby feels he has little choice other than to tolerate him.

He takes a deep breath.] I was wary of him for some time afterward, really. And then I came to terms with what happened and decided I could still be friends anyway. So I didn't go straight back; I did need some time. But that's the thing—a couple weeks have passed already. What, do you think I'll need to wait a few more?

Who was it? [Because he was curious. After all he'd been under the assumption he was the only person who dealt with these problems. But someone else harassing Toby? All the while Drew knowing nothing about it? That was surprising enough to the werewolf. Usually he had a good sense about these things.]

And y'all were friends too? Fuck Toby y'sure do know how to pick 'em don't you. Not that I'm blamin' you or anythin' but if you've got two friends who wind up killin' you under shitty circumstances then y'maybe needa pull out your little black book an' have a long hard thing about it. [He shrugs.] Not sure 'bout that either, never been killed by a friend before myself but I figured it was the kinda thing y'might need what... a month for?

[Toby's gaze drops, and so he sees his drink. He takes a nice long sip, savours the taste of it for a bit before swallowing. Along with his frustration is a little hesitation. If he tells Drew, and it affects their relationship, then Abduxel finds out it's Toby's fault, he could really be in for it.]

Sorry, I can't tell you who. [Continuing to look at his glass, he simply frowns.] Though I will say our friendship is more based on a truce-like agreement more than anything else.

Y'can't? And why can't y'tell me, huh? Thought the whole unbreakable werewolf bond thing would give us that kinda trust level. [Except he smiles slightly because he was mostly just being nosy.]

It doesn't matter, so long as he doesn't come back tryin'a start somethin' like the other guy y'were talkin' to me about.

[Toby eases up at Drew's response, and his lips take on a small, almost shy smile.]

God, no. He's neither like the lawyer nor the serial killer...

[He can't help but echo that smile.]

Then I guess he can't be too bad. I mean, I can't exactly judge him, can I? Not when I've apparently gone an' done the exact same thing he did.

[A soft chuckle escapes him.]

He wasn't all that bad, no. But things were a little complicated. [A pause as he makes a realization.] I guess things always are.

[His gaze goes to Drew's hand, and he considers placing his own atop for assurance before thinking better of the gesture. They haven't fully mended whatever is between them; besides, it seems Drew had wanted to avoid Toby's sentimentality earlier on. Probably wouldn't be a good idea to encourage him again, would it?]

Ain't nothin' simple in the world Toby. Had to come to that realization a hell of a long time ago. Its sometimes good to make pretend an' act like it is. But it ain't.

[He sees Toby's eyes move, feels those emotions swirling through the bond and shrugs internally, making the first move and reaching out to squeeze Toby's hand in his own warm one, which was weird, because he'd forgotten just how cold the vampire was. He pulls his hand back just as quick, but it was a sign of change to come, at least.]

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